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Sorry - not really a gamer either (just got a few like Lego Star Wars, Call of Duty 2 and Defcon). Buy hey, hopefully this forum will build up a critical mass and some gamers will join.
In the meantime, can you confirm you are not trying to play wirelessly as that is always a bad idea (you need a wired connection). Also, 256Kbps isn't really that great an upload. On one of my connections, I get 384Kbps and another I get around 768Kbps.
Also, check that nothing else is running on your machine at the same time as you are playing (e.g. no bittorrent client, no iChat/Skype).
Sorry I can't answer your questions specifically.
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